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meladoodle:

me after sex: hey how much xp did i just earn

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fartgallery:

i bet dragons would probably think it’s really cool that we produce water in our mouths

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myfirstpubichair:

parent: WHY DOES IT SMELL LIKE WEED IN THIS ROOM

me: image

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themanwithfrozenhearts:

im a really affectionate person once you get past my 5 layers of shyness, awkwardness, fear, vague dislike, and loneliness

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darrynek:

i threw a party once.  threw it really far.  like 200 feet

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